Being Grateful for what I have

I am a spoiled brat. This is what I know people must think of me when I say that I am not happy. As I mentioned before my doctor put me on antidepressants. Part of that is because of the PCOS and the fact that I have had a lot of messed up hormones. However, part of it is because I just haven’t been happy. I realized when I was talking to my friend Shellie the other day the entire problem.Image

I say all the time I love my life, but don’t like my job. This isn’t really true. I do love my life. I have a handsome, supportive, smart husband, wonderful friends and family, a beautiful home, and good food on my table. I don’t dislike my job. It just isn’t were I wanted to be right now. I want to be a freelance writer, or a novel writer. I am not were I want to be. I mean there are other nuances to my job which make it not so fun. Customer service is a humbling job. People can be cruel, and my husband was fired by the company I work for so there are feelings there. The thing is though, It is a strong union job… I get paid good money, I have good benefits, and they even paid for my bachelors degree. Also, I really do love the people I work with. They are amazing heart of America type people all working the same job. So why am I complaining? This is what people want to know.

As an Oklahoman, I believe that whining is detestable, that if you don’t like something you change it. I have always done that. Like this blog, I am unhealthy, I am choosing now to change that. I am not going to complain to you about how hard it is, hopefully I won’t. If I start to whine, I know my Okies will tell me about it. We really hate that as a people. However, I have found myself whining about my job, and in turn I have hated myself about it.

Why not change your job you ask? Did you hear about how it is a union job with good pay and bennies in the worst recession in years? Did I also mention that bought my house the day before the housing drop? I am so upside down, and backwards on that house. Also, I had this brilliant idea that my husband should go to school full time so that he could get a degree that actually will get him a job! It would not be smart for me to take a 10 dollar an hour pay cut so I can start at the ground floor of a writing job. Not at all. So really as any good philosophy student would tell you, I can quit my job anytime, but choose not too. I am holding onto this puppy for dear life!

When I don’t get my way, I am usually used to kicking and screaming and working the problem to a nub until I get what I want. You will see with this blog that I can be pretty persistent. So for the past couple years I have been kicking and screaming inside my head, which is helping no one. I have been trying to figure out a way to get what I want and that is not going to happen for another year and a half. So for the first time in my life, since I was a child, I am going to have to accept the things I can not change.

Got any suggestions on how to do that? If you do please comment here. I know with prayer, God will help me. However, I am also of the helps themselves camp too. My friend Shellie recommended a gratitude journal, think of three things everyday that you are grateful and they can’t be the same. I will post some of them here periodically. For instance, I am thankful for my job, and my boss. She is very encouraging and works with me to help me keep my job more than any boss before her. I will call these Gratitudenals.

To my Statesmen, I am sorry for being such a whiner!

4 thoughts on “Being Grateful for what I have

  1. Mandy

    This was a great post. I felt your pain. See, isn’t that the purpose of art, to make people feel what you’re feeling? You’re creating art here with this blog and being the writer that you want to be. That sounds cheesy but it’s true. You’re not wasting your talents. You’re displaying them here for us to read.

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