Many mistakes

 

Hello Blog Followers! I am so sorry it has been almost a week since I posted and that is because I had a really bad week. Wednesday was one of the most rotten days I have had in customer service and I have been doing this almost fifteen years. I was working taking calls, like I do, and every call from nine in the morning to one in the afternoon yelled and argued with me. I am not exaggerating at all. Sometimes you don’t know what comes first, your frustration or their yelling or if it is all a simultaneous poopy experience. Either way I really lost it. There was a time around eleven that I told the person next to me that I just wasn’t going to take anymore calls and I sat there for a full five minutes trying to think I was making some kind of stand. I just sat there in protest for five minutes. I thought I am not taking a call until they come over and make me. I am just going to sit here and zen out. I tried deep breathing. I stretched. I tried thinking about all the wonderful things in my life. I tried to picture all the things I wanted to do with the money I was making. It was fruitless. My blood was still boiling, but I came to my senses and decided to take calls anyways. The last call before my inevitable break down was a man arguing with me over every thing. I mean he didn’t like one thing I said and thought that I was really putting him on. It was a very humbling and aggravating experience. When he finally asked for my supervisor I was so relieved. I then hung up my headset and started bawling. In fifteen years I haven’t ever broken down like that for work but I was really going at it. My supervisor came over and asked if I was okay and told me to step away for a few minutes. So I went to the bathroom and hid in the stall crying and puffing like you do when you are really going at it properly. I was talking to myself saying things like, some people don’t have enough food but I just have people who yell at me. I repeated that over and over and it still didn’t seem to do very good. Luckily when I finally went back I only had about 15 more minutes to be on the phones and then didn’t have to hear anymore yelling.

 

When I got off work I was tired and beat and still upset, and I fell into the car and started bawling. My husband was so sad for me, and held me. We then went and got burgers. Now here was our thinking-Wednesday was my last day of work before vacation and on vacation we couldn’t eat organic all the time so why try and we were now officially on vacation and I had a bad day. Ain’t that bullshit? We really know how to explain our deviance don’t we? We ate Jack in the Box, and I felt awful.

 

The next day I struggled with the answer to the problem. Not only did I fail at keeping my resolution to not eat processed food, and to eat good for my body, but I also broke down. I didn’t find the joy in my day. I didn’t try to keep a smile on. I have been struggling with that since Wednesday to figure out how to not do these things. I didn’t want to write until I had the answer.

 

Unfortunately for some of this there is no answer. My husband and I talked about the cheating and decided that when I have a bad day or him and we haven’t already prepared dinner we will go to a very nice vegetarian cafe we know of that serves the most divine mushroom soup. The other option is going to our neighborhood coop that has a wonderful deli with many organic quick foods, and we will also get the rosemary Ciabatta bread they sell from Zeppoli’s which is always a treat for me. We have to sometimes work around our neuroses, and I think that will work.

 

Now the breaking down. I don’t know if you can live a life without breaking down. I think that I was trying so hard to not be sarcastic and bitter that it built up inside and I exploded. I think you have to have a valve were all the hurt feelings get out. I am not saying you have to wallow in it, but if you aren’t heard by anyone then you start to feel really put upon. I think you need to really get it out, but then once you do, maybe then you can let it go and move onto the joy.

 

Also my husband gave me a really good tip he said that he sometimes pretends that the angry customers are children. He says that is the only way he can have patience enough to understand unreasonable demands. We also talked about how customers that are yelling are only really trying to desperately seek respect and control over their on lives, so if I maintain a cognizance of that then perhaps that will give me the wear with all to handle it. That might work, but I might just go back to my tried and true method of a sarcastic funny remark, but follow it up with the new methods of trying to remember why I am there and finding the joy in my everyday.

 

I am still on vacation, but am trying to eat healthy again. I guess the main thing is not to sulk in your mistake, right. Make a mistake and move on? We have been eating our veggies and trying to get in our servings at the very least. I will keep you updated on how it is going.

6 thoughts on “Many mistakes

  1. Suzi


    Hi Danielle,’
    Talked to you last week about my computer did’t play videos w/o stalling and we talked about Boise as I might be moving there. I told you about a video that shows the way most dairy cows are treated. The address is above.
    I’ll email you at work next week – couple of day last week videos were stalling again but today, On the weekend they’re playing fine.
    Hope your vacation was good. Let me know what you think of the video it’s very hard to watch.
    I agree, we all have to have a valve w/ which to let our feelings out. For me it’s controlling the pressure on the valve so I don’t blast the people I love the most.
    Suzi

    1. Wow that was very hard to watch. Who are these people that can be so descensatized that they can push around living beings with big machines like that. It is like a sick dr. moreau kind of thing with those cows not able to walk. What is wrong with people. It makes me so upset with humanity. Where did we go wrong. Thank you for sharing this with whoever reads this blog. Email me when you need help. I will be here Monday through Friday 9-530. Thanks again.

  2. Mandy

    I like this post a lot even though you were so sad. Everyone breaks down. My coworkers have dealt with me crying alot. Like what’s that noise? Oh, it’s Mandy crying. Especally right now when I am planning a wedding. I’m supposed to be happy but I feel on the very brink of losing my mind every day. One thing that always helps for me is exercise. I go to the gym in a rage against all humanity but then I always feel better when I come home. Sorry I didn’t mean to tell my life story here but you got me thinking.

    1. Oh, I remember planning my wedding was one of the most stressful times ever. It is so weird that it is supposed to be the happiest time in your life but you have to plan so many things. No one tells you it isn’t just one big party it is like four. Not only the wedding but the honeymoon, and the bachelor and bachelorette partys and the shower and registering, and peoples vacation time, and pick ups from the airport, and where are they going to stay…etc. I could go on. What I found out was that people want to help. I felt like I didn’t want to ask anyones help and that if I handled everything people would be happy, but they weren’t. Christine and Katie were mad at me I didn’t let them handle more. So ask for help people will feel blessed to be part of your day. I didn’t know that and wished someone had told me earlier on. Also, Smarty had a Party…awesome place, check it out. I bought tableclothes and stuff cheaper than renting them. Once I asked for help then I felt alot less stressed.
      I never thought of exercise as a way to rage against humanity. I haven’t gotten into it that way. I always felt like it was a chore. I do like the TYBO stuff, I could see it being a release. What do you do at the gym? I really liked swimming, I feel the same way the wind makes me feel in the water. I can’t really afford a gym membership now though. If I had a pool in my backyard I would be thin. I am a water baby. I love gliding through the water it makes me feel calmer. Sweating has always been something I have hated. I think it is a childhood gym embarrasment thing, but I am trying to embrace sweating. It is really hard to rewire your brain and think about things differently. You probably didn’t expect all that…sorry.

  3. Mandy

    You’re right, I need to ask for help more. I have had a lot of experiences with crazy brides who thought they were queens of the universe so I’m trying to be a really nice bride who isn’t demanding. So I’ve taken everything on myself and it’s sooo hard. But I will try to let people help me.

    At the gym I just go as hard as I can on the eliptical and bike. I need to sweat and get my heart pumping to feel like the workout is effective. I understand how you hate sweat though, when I first started going to the gym and I hated being all sweaty in public. But I got used to it. Everyone has different workouts that work for them. For me the gym is easy b/c I can walk to it and it is cheap.

    Maybe if you love water you should take some trips to the coast. I guess the northwest coast is closest to you? Go swim in the ocean whenever you can. I don’t know how far the ocean is from Idaho though.

    1. Yeah, at first I thought that too, but then I gave everyone a job and delegated just a few jobs and it was a relief. Also now people know they helped and forever they will have a memory of being a part of my wedding. It was nice. I won’t be swimming on the Oregon Coast although I love that ocean. It is beautiful but to cold. I will be going to the lake this summer. I love the Lucky Peak reservoir because it is free too. We like to go down there and have picnics and relax and swim. Even Grandma gets into it.

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