Hello Blog Followers! I am so sorry it has been almost a week since I posted and that is because I had a really bad week. Wednesday was one of the most rotten days I have had in customer service and I have been doing this almost fifteen years. I was working taking calls, like I do, and every call from nine in the morning to one in the afternoon yelled and argued with me. I am not exaggerating at all. Sometimes you don’t know what comes first, your frustration or their yelling or if it is all a simultaneous poopy experience. Either way I really lost it. There was a time around eleven that I told the person next to me that I just wasn’t going to take anymore calls and I sat there for a full five minutes trying to think I was making some kind of stand. I just sat there in protest for five minutes. I thought I am not taking a call until they come over and make me. I am just going to sit here and zen out. I tried deep breathing. I stretched. I tried thinking about all the wonderful things in my life. I tried to picture all the things I wanted to do with the money I was making. It was fruitless. My blood was still boiling, but I came to my senses and decided to take calls anyways. The last call before my inevitable break down was a man arguing with me over every thing. I mean he didn’t like one thing I said and thought that I was really putting him on. It was a very humbling and aggravating experience. When he finally asked for my supervisor I was so relieved. I then hung up my headset and started bawling. In fifteen years I haven’t ever broken down like that for work but I was really going at it. My supervisor came over and asked if I was okay and told me to step away for a few minutes. So I went to the bathroom and hid in the stall crying and puffing like you do when you are really going at it properly. I was talking to myself saying things like, some people don’t have enough food but I just have people who yell at me. I repeated that over and over and it still didn’t seem to do very good. Luckily when I finally went back I only had about 15 more minutes to be on the phones and then didn’t have to hear anymore yelling.
When I got off work I was tired and beat and still upset, and I fell into the car and started bawling. My husband was so sad for me, and held me. We then went and got burgers. Now here was our thinking-Wednesday was my last day of work before vacation and on vacation we couldn’t eat organic all the time so why try and we were now officially on vacation and I had a bad day. Ain’t that bullshit? We really know how to explain our deviance don’t we? We ate Jack in the Box, and I felt awful.
The next day I struggled with the answer to the problem. Not only did I fail at keeping my resolution to not eat processed food, and to eat good for my body, but I also broke down. I didn’t find the joy in my day. I didn’t try to keep a smile on. I have been struggling with that since Wednesday to figure out how to not do these things. I didn’t want to write until I had the answer.
Unfortunately for some of this there is no answer. My husband and I talked about the cheating and decided that when I have a bad day or him and we haven’t already prepared dinner we will go to a very nice vegetarian cafe we know of that serves the most divine mushroom soup. The other option is going to our neighborhood coop that has a wonderful deli with many organic quick foods, and we will also get the rosemary Ciabatta bread they sell from Zeppoli’s which is always a treat for me. We have to sometimes work around our neuroses, and I think that will work.
Now the breaking down. I don’t know if you can live a life without breaking down. I think that I was trying so hard to not be sarcastic and bitter that it built up inside and I exploded. I think you have to have a valve were all the hurt feelings get out. I am not saying you have to wallow in it, but if you aren’t heard by anyone then you start to feel really put upon. I think you need to really get it out, but then once you do, maybe then you can let it go and move onto the joy.
Also my husband gave me a really good tip he said that he sometimes pretends that the angry customers are children. He says that is the only way he can have patience enough to understand unreasonable demands. We also talked about how customers that are yelling are only really trying to desperately seek respect and control over their on lives, so if I maintain a cognizance of that then perhaps that will give me the wear with all to handle it. That might work, but I might just go back to my tried and true method of a sarcastic funny remark, but follow it up with the new methods of trying to remember why I am there and finding the joy in my everyday.
I am still on vacation, but am trying to eat healthy again. I guess the main thing is not to sulk in your mistake, right. Make a mistake and move on? We have been eating our veggies and trying to get in our servings at the very least. I will keep you updated on how it is going.