Wow, I over did it. I gained four pounds for Christmas. That is a present that could keep on giving. I didn’t really ask for it, but as they say…I asked for it didn’t I. There were the donuts at work Christmas Eve. I mean it’s Christmas Eve I rationalized. Then there was the pizza that night. Again I talked myself into it, Who wants to cook on Christmas Eve? Now that is ridiculous. I mean I knew I would indulge the next day. I should have just eaten my veggies and waited. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew that there would be consequences. The next morning I was bloated and starving. While skyping with my family my husband made our traditional Christmas breakfast-orange cinnamon rolls and sausage links. This is a tradition we will need to change. I ate one of the cinnamon rolls and three sausage links, on the drive to my aunt’s house for lunch I almost puked. I had to pull over to the side of the road and eat some walnuts out of the trunk. This evolved into a bunch of jokes about my eating “trunk nuts.”
Christmas dinner was amazing. My aunt is an accomplished caterer. She makes prime rib every year and it is the best I have ever tasted. The ends are crunchy and the middle is the perfect blush. She pairs it with a horse radish sauce that is precisely biting. Then there were scallop potatoes, spinach, cranberry, and walnut salad, a jell-o salad, green beans and cherry tomatoes, soft homemade rolls, and cake. Not to mention the four or five classes of wine/champagne I drank. Before hand we had cheese dip with almonds, bacon wrapped crackers, ham cups, peanut brittle, peppermint bark, and several kinds of chocolate truffles. I didn’t hold myself back in anyway. Nothing was off limits. I thought, “Merry Christmas to me!!!!”
I thought the same thing I have thought so many times before. My go to justification is always, “I deserve to indulge in this because I work hard and I have been so good.” I will “treat” myself to this because it is Christmas. Four pounds gained later, and you have to wonder, is that really a treat? I mean is it an indulgence to have to lose even more weight. I mean what is really worth that.
I feel like I am working hard, fighting tooth and nail for every pound I lose. I write down what I eat, sacrifice this to get that, etc. Do I really want to add to that load? Is that a present I am willing to give myself? It almost feels as if the price is too huge. I won’t get into that whole elliptical time it takes to burn off a piece of white cake with delicious butter cream icing. I will let all the health mags do that.
For me, the worst part of indulging that much is, the next day my body seems to continue to ask for that much food. I was starving constantly. I wanted to eat everything in sight. I don’t know if it was psychological, or if my tummy was stretched out again and so it felt emptier, but either way I wanted to chew my own arm off I was so hungry.
Secondly, I was so bloated all my clothes were fitting tight again. I thought, geez did I gain back all 28 pounds I have lost? It was seriously concerning me. Bloaty tight pants all day made me cranky and scared. So I am starving, too scared to eat, and seriously cranky. Not to mention after I hang out with four dogs all day my allergies are to the extreme. That is not a way to go back to work. Bloating, sneezing, swollen, ravenous, and cranky, and again, I ask…was it worth it? I mean I can’t fix the sneezing part, but everything else I could have controlled. I could have had one serving of everything instead of two. I could have had a little taste of everything instead of six or seven. There are things I could have done instead of giving myself a present of bloating and four more pounds to lose. I am still mulling this over, I mean…my Aunt makes a mean Christmas dinner.