Will I recover?

It ain’t pretty

I need a pep talk. Not just of the normal, you can do it, kind of thing. I need a slap to the face kind of, kill or be killed thing. I have had a sinus infection. I really do hate them. I have been feeling like there is a large metal bearing rolling around in my head. I am super blocked, and I am eating everything in sight. I feel like a vacuum cleaner. Believe it or not, when I eat I can actually breathe. I don’t understand what it is. I put something in my mouth and my air passages normally clear. I just wanna eat constantly. I have been choosing pretty good things, most of the time, but still not the best.

The problem is that when you start down a road, it is hard to turn around. I have been lying around watching Lethal Weapon marathons, and stuffing my face with popcorn, cheese, pepperoni, homemade chicken noodles, mashed potatoes, and cocoa crispy bars. These things go surprisingly well with hot tea, Mentholatum and cough drops. I am a sluggish ball of blankets mottled into the couch. My face, in the middle around the mouth and nose is red, broken, and peeling. My head hurts. I am still healing. I know, right give myself a break, but what is gonna happen when I am finally healed. I mean how do you make an immovable object movable? Any ideas, runners? Or other people who work out after being sick? What gets you off the couch?

I am trying to motivate myself a little. I am trying to think about all the wonderful things that losing weight has brought me. I fit into my tiny tub better. Walking up the stairs to my apartment doesn’t hurt my knees as much. My wonderful coat is looser and looks so wonderful. My pants are in the fall off my butt territory. I have yet to go shop for new ones, but loose is really nice. It has been years since I wore loose clothing. It makes me feel super skinny even though I am not. I don’t have the indigestion I used to. I am wearing clothes I couldn’t a couple months ago.

Okay so it isn’t awe inspiring, but here are the big things. My feet don’t hurt as much because between losing twenty-five-ish pounds and quitting smoking, I have gotten a lot of my circulation back. My blood pressure is within normal levels. My Cholesterol is down from 208 to a manageable 176, best range is less than 200. My A1C is down from 8.3 to now a much better, 6.2. My goal is to get it between the healthy range of 4.2 to 5.8. It seems I am not too far from that now. These are the numbers to worry about and fear and I am taking care of things. That makes me feel good.

I am schlumpy right now and slightly down but being sick does that. I guess I will worry about getting back on the wagon when I feel better. I don’t want to let all my work go to waste. Backsliding only slightly while I am sick isn’t bad. I fear that when my nose is clear, I won’t have enough moxie to move it off the couch.

3 thoughts on “Will I recover?

  1. Being sick kills every ounce of motivation! What’s worse is that it gets SO HARD to want to do any form of exercise after 3 days away from it. But you know what? YOU HAVE LOTS 25LBS! Can you not see the difference? Apparently you can FEEL the difference just in your circulation. Do you want all that hard work to go down the drain? NO. We all fall. We have sicknesses, too much work, too much stress… and sometimes it’s hard to get back up. But you know what? We need to. YOU need to! You got this! Look at all the stuff you have accomplished and tomorrow instead of having popcorn have some healthy trail mix (Protein cereal, rasains, almonds — it’s just as good).
    Anyways, hope you feel better! Good luck!

  2. Mandy

    When I have a bad cold I’m really hungry too and want to eat everything. So I pick something that I can eat a lot of, like sugar free popsicles and apples and sugar free pudding, so that if I need to eat nonstop at least it won’t be as caloric as other stuff. Everyone needs to pig out once in a while. The key is to have low calorie stuff around so you don’t go for the bad stuff. Like maybe instead of pepperoni you eat turkey slices.

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