I know people have described losing weight as an uphill battle before. It doesn’t matter if you have a lot to lose like me or only ten/fifteen pounds. It is hard. First you have to count calories or points or however you choose to do it. Then you have to fit in time for exercise, and then if you don’t want to gain it back it’s a good idea to find out why you gained the weight in the first place. It could be medical reasons or emotional reasons. Whatever it is, those steps are hard, time consuming and interrupt and rearrange your life. I am not complaining per say. I am just right now stating the obvious.
What really bites is when it gets worse. Have you ever set a goal and then it is as if it gets hard instantly. For instance, have you ever set a goal to get your finances in order, pay off bills, or buy a house? It seems like as soon as you do that, you get a driving ticket, or you have to buy a bridesmaid dress for a wedding, or any other miscellaneous unforeseen expenditure. As if your mental intentions are made known to the universe. This one has money to pay her bills, quickly take it now while you can! It is the same with losing weight, at least for me it seems. It isn’t the big things either; it is the equivalent of your little brother poking you with his finger in the shoulder all the way from Oklahoma City to Enid. It is the small annoyances. It is the minor setbacks that really tick me off.
As you know, I have been trying to lose weight stringently since September. I did pretty good except for the occasional wedding until Christmas, then it seemed like all heck broke loose. I ate my weight in prime rib, and then had an allergy attack that turned into an sinus infection. So for a week I was laying around eating most of the time. Finally Sunday I got a little chutzpa and got off the couch. Husband and I decide to go for a walk. Okay now let me say this right now. As much as I hate to exercise getting Brad to go with me is like pulling teeth. It isn’t that he is denying going, but when you are in a relationship you can tell when someone is reluctant. He isn’t ever the one who says, “Hey, let’s go walking?” When I say should we walk or something else? He looks off to the side and grimaces and then smiles sort of and says, “Let’s go walk.” So we left, me feeling excited to get out of the house for the first time in four days, and him begrudgingly.
We walk to the edge of the apartment complex and let’s just put it this way…I have to use the restroom. So not even ten minutes into our walk, it is aborted and we have to walk home. I couldn’t get him back out again for a second time.
Monday I have this new idea. I am going to walk every break for ten minutes. I don’t know if you’ve read this but several fitness magazines I have read say you get all the fitness benefits splitting up your work out as you do all together. So that is thirty minutes of walking. I love this plan. I mean LOVING it. Here is why:
1. It takes at least ten minutes to start sweating. I hate sweat.
2. I don’t have to spend my time off work exercising just yet. I mean I will probably have to do more later, but right now thirty minutes is fine. Actually it is kicking my butt, but more on that later
3. My rosacea doesn’t flare up in ten minutes either, so going back to work is fine and I don’t even look awful.
I know all of the people who work out regularly or run ten miles a day will scoff at this but Monday night after work I was ecstatic! I was so proud of myself. I worked out for thirty minutes and that is what my doctor wants. Also I enjoyed it. I walked around looking in shop windows and the public art downtown. It was fun. Also people watching is fun, no less than five people said hello to me. What joy!
So where is the down side? Well during my couch sneeze time, I gave myself a pedicure. I got all these cute nail things from my sister. She is so awesome. Anyways, I royally messed up my feet. I don’t understand how I do this, it seems every time. My best friend says I have to do stick with salon pedicures. I was scrubbing on the right side of my feet and I was really impressed with the loofah. It was taking off the dead skin like crazy. Um…it was taking off the healthy skin. I couldn’t see that in the bathtub. Then there I was clipping my toe nails and took off half the big toe nail on the right foot. Well all of these injuries seem small until your feet swell in your tennis shoes.
Monday night I had trouble walking up to my apartment they hurt so bad. I took off my shoes and socks to let my infected to air out. I had trouble walking around so Brad recommended a long hot bath. I had also read for an infected toe you should put it in a hot Epsom salt bath for twenty minutes. I thought well I will just soak for twenty minutes and then go to be. Well I soaked for about an hour, and as soon as I got out of my bath, my feet felt like I was walking on hot lava rocks. I could barely walk to the bed. When I finally laid down after I leaned against the bed to clumsily put on my panties, and had my husband help me with my bra. Brad looked at my feet and there was puss. I am just going to be honest here so that you understand I am not just complaining. I don’t mean to gross you out. The rest of my feet were swollen and red and felt like they had been cut with a razor blade all over.
Brad bandaged my toe and then started to massage them and I actually cried. He stopped massaging them and just lotion-ed them up for me and put my socks on me. I think he was bewildered I was crying. He said, “It will be okay, and maybe you shouldn’t walk tomorrow.”
“Why is it that when you are walking up hill it always has to sleet and snow,” I asked through tears.
I was so joyous coming home and now I would have to maybe put off my work out. I know it was only one day but it felt like initiative was happening. I had gotten up gumption. I was doing this thing. Now I was lying in bed crying.
Isn’t there some sort of parable in the bible that says something like when you try to walk the path of righteousness the devil will throw poo at you? I mean I know I am paraphrasing.
Well I think it not only applies to Christianity, but anything you try to set to do out right. Once you pay attention, once you try harder, it gets more difficult. I don’t understand the phenomenon.
The good news, and the end of the story is that the next day my feet were still sore but I went out and walked it again. I did my ten minutes for break, twenty for lunch, and ten again for break. I conjured up the guts, by thinking of all those magazine photos of women in warrior stances. I started thinking about my friend Pamela and her trying to start running early after she hurt her leg. She just couldn’t wait to get out there. That’s amazing to me. She is all gimpy and can’t wait to run. I am not the only one who has a hard time. I am a warrior, I kept thinking. I am doing this. It feels good to continue even though there is rain and sleet.