What is your plan?

Husband and I enjoying life. To bad we can’t snorkle in Cozumel everyday.

Do you ever over shoot? I mean there are so many areas where I set goals and always my goals exceed my ability. This isn’t my saying I don’t have ability. I just have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew. I am sort of like Scrappy Do running in place saying, “Lemme at ’em! Lemme at ’em! I’ll splat ’em! I’ll rock ’em and sock ’em!”

I guess a lot of my goal setting is like this. My writing group meets once a week and at the end we set goals for the week. That is a wonderful thing to do because it spurs on the work. I mean it is supposed to. The concept is that I am supposed to take those goals, go home and check them of one by one studiously and victoriously. This is the intent. The bad part is when you set too many goals. If you want to read two books, write three blogs, and edit twenty pages of a book you are working on…it can be overwhelming. I set these goals with the enthusiasm and good faith that enthusiasm will carry me through these goals. Instead I just run in place thinking about all I have committed to myself to do, until I get overwhelmed and then I do nothing. My group is meeting tomorrow and this is the first thing I have written all week.

Husband and I have been setting goals. We are tired of sitting in limbo waiting for a job offer to move on with our lives. We have been waiting with baited breath and are tired for putting our lives on hold. Basically our goals aren’t just the normal ones. Yes we are listing the normal ones: keep the house clean, lose weight, eat healthy, and save money. However, I think the best ones we have listed are the fun ones. We want to institute a date night once a week, and have listed ideas and restaurants we want to check out. I want to start going out of town, even if it is for day trips because I feel like I the times that husband and I feel more alive are when we are experiencing new things. The biggest relief and leisure I have is just to get out of town. That is the thing I have just realized. None of my goals will be accomplished if I am only working on my goals. I will be a stressed out mess. The reason I know this is I have been a stressed out mess.

The funny thing is I didn’t notice it until my husband became a stressed out mess for the same reason. He has been uber-frazzled and depressed only thinking about getting a good job. He isn’t Scrappy-do either; he is truly qualified and will be amazingly good at the job he is trying to get. He is obsessive, as most people would be, but I have to try and get him to stop. If only for a few minutes at time, I need to get his mind off of things so he can have a little relief.

I think this is a problem I consistently have is when I set a goal all other things seem to fall away. I have so many things I want to accomplish in my life. I just don’t know how to be consistent. How do I accomplish the goals without being sort of manic about it? When I want to lose weight, I read weight loss magazines, I eat well, write down all I eat, and I exercise. It almost feels as if I take my focus off my goal for an hour or two, I will forget it all together.

We all need to relax though don’t we. How do you go about living your life when you have goals that need to be accomplished? I have never been one to schedule my life. I can’t write down nine am do this, ten am do that. I have never been able to keep on a schedule. I am too rebellious for this. It feels super restrictive to me. What if instead of eating breakfast at that time I get inspired and want to write a poem? Of course that has never happened, but if it should I would not want to disappoint my muse would I?

Can someone please explain to me how to have balance? How do you do a little for everything every day? How do you make your mind concentrate on something different? How do you fit in fun?

2 thoughts on “What is your plan?

  1. Mandy

    Danielle, I’ve been there, my husband was unemployed for almost two years during the really bad part of the recession. It was the most difficult thing I have ever been through, because I had to watch my partner suffer for so long. Sometimes I don’t know how we got through it. I remember we laughed a lot, or tried to, and watched tons of Curb Your Enthusiasm. We took a lot of walks and cooked together. Our way to survive was, one must always be the strong one while the other melts down. Once in a while we were both falling apart, those were dark times, but we got through it. Be glad that now is a much better time to look for a job than it was a few years ago. It’s a good idea to experience new things together, seriously that’s what will keep you both sane. Even something little, like trying a new kind of coffee (we get pretty excited about that sorta thing in my house). Be strong Brad, I will be sending you all my positive energy.

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