My wonderful and amazing Grandma!

Grandma and I were having a bit of a daydream together. I don’t remember if I have introduced you to Grandma. She is amazing and not at all typical. She is pictured above. This outfit is her amazing Easter outfit last year. She looks this fabulous all the time. She and my aunt Nicole used to take me shopping and taught me how to dress polished but with a little spice. Whereas my aunt dresses very tastefully, Grandma likes the leopard, red, and gold, and I have a little melding of each and a magic cleavage. Grandma and I joke that if we weren’t plus sized we would dress like sluts. It is good natured ribbing but it is so true, we would dress risqué.

I think no matter your body type you always wish for something different, but Grandma has made me proud of who I am, by being so beautiful and proud of who she is. However, we both have wanted to lose weight, mostly because we are diabetic. We want to feel better, and live longer, but we also dream about smaller clothes and loving the mirror.

Grandma has lost about fifty pounds, and being proud of her has spurred me on to losing around thirty pounds. This weight loss has gotten us to believe we could one day be skinny enough to be as tart-y as we want to be. We were on the phone daydreaming about all the things we were going to wear when we reached our goals. It started out innocently enough. We talked about shirts with no sleeves, and swimsuits without skirts, and then it got a little racier.

I said that I couldn’t wait until I could wear short skirts. I haven’t worn a mini in forever. Grandma said she wanted to too. I told her that she should wear them now because she has awesome legs. She then said she has some fishnets waiting in the closet for her to reach a specific weight. (Out of courtesy I won’t tell that to you.)  I said, “Wow we are gonna be a bunch of skinny hoochies!”

We both laughed and then day dreamed further: long slits up the side of the skirt, swim suits with skin, and even more cleavage. We were filled with glee at the thought. This went on for quite some time, and then I remembered our beautiful, but always tastefully dressed Nicole. I told Grandma that she will be so embarrassed when we are skinny and slutty. We decided to call and warn her.

We giggled our way through explaining our conversation, ending in our warning that we were going to dress like hoochies when we got skinny. Nicole didn’t even skip a beat replying, “Don’t you guys already do that now?”

We laughed for while about that, but I think the prospect of good naturedly embarrassing Nicole encouraged both of us. There isn’t much that gives Grandma and I joy more than trying to make each other laugh. To be honest, Grandma and I don’t really dress like hookers and probably won’t, but it is a funny thought. We are excited to not only to dress tastefully seductive, but even more to give Nicole a couple of blushed cheeks. We are ornery like that.

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