I was researching endometriosis for so many days that my brain was mush. I have been looking into treatments, diet, and herbal medicine. I was stressed at all the conflicting information and burnt out. I hadn’t written for fun in a while or done anything fun for weeks. So I decided I really needed to clear my mind so that I could think of something else besides that week every month I am in monster pain.
I arranged to meet with a good friend to write on Friday. It was a lovely morning at a coffee shop in Rittenhouse square called Elixir. We had a quiet table by the window but there wasn’t a plug in nearby so I got inspired by my writing partner Alice who writes in a journal and free wrote for a while. It was such a relief. I just sort of pushed out all the gunk that had been eating my brain. It was like my pen was shouting out word salad for thirty minutes. I tried to turn it into a poem. The process brought me so much joy because I hadn’t written only to enjoy the process of writing for what seems like a kazillian years. (Lately I have felt a pressure to only write what could someday bring in money.) This indulgence really seemed to liberate my mind.
Afterwards I worked on fiction and then we decided it was time for lunch. My friend and I then talked and leisurely walked over to a restaurant called Cosi. The walk there was so relaxing like all those scenes on TV when people walk and talk in the big city. I concentrated on being in the moment, listening to my companion and taking in the scenery. At Cosi I had some delicious tomato soup and a Caprese type sandwich, talked, and people watched for a couple hours.
The weather was so nice, perfectly cool, and the corner wasn’t that busy. It was just calm and languid. I didn’t have a care in the world except for the interesting conversation with my dining companion about pain, loss, abuse, humanity and whether or not it could get better…you know the light stuff -leisurely lunch conversation. My mind was totally engrossed and delightfully challenged. I walked home in love with life and had forgotten all about my health problems momentarily.
When I got home I was so relaxed I wrote some more. I wrote two more chapters, cleaned my kitchen, and made a kick as vegetarian meal for dinner.
I was more productive and creative that day than I have been for months which made me realize I need more fun and less worry. I have been researching, writing, cooking, researching, cleaning, cooking…etc. for weeks now. I have decided to do something indulgent at least once every day this weekend. Luckily hubby got a free pass to a video game he wanted to play. So Saturday while he was tethered to the computer with his headset I took a long leisurely hot bath with some new bubbles Brad bought me. I went all in lighting candles and listening to the yoga channel on Pandora. I was in my bathtub for two hours reading blogs and meditating.
Sunday I took a couple of hours to lie in bed, read magazines, and listen to my AC/DC channel on Pandora. It was bliss. I like the dichotomy of listening to Korn, Marilyn Manson, and AC/DC while looking at rustic décor in Country Living, or how to decorate pumpkins in the Martha Steward magazine. While bed dancing and singing at the top of my lungs, I read interviews with starlets and perused pictures in Coastal Living, Elle Décor and National Geographic. I finished the evening doing yoga and cuddling with my very cute husband. BLISS!!!
Basically I gave myself a sorely needed mental palate cleanser. Today I am back at work, researching vegetarian recipes, looking up PCOS and Endometriosis, and writing with even more gusto than before. Except now, I am enjoying the process because I have less weight on my brain.
What I really love and am super proud of is that even though I have been frazzled and stressed, I figured out a way to work past it without a Domino’s pizza chaser. All week I have been eating fruit and veggie heavy, and no junk food. I worked through my sadness by indulging another way.