One of my really amazing friends got married. I admire this friend and feel a kindred spirit in her. She is the embodiment of the way I strive to live. At the wedding someone described her as pure joy, and that isn’t an understatement. I know that she gets upset especially about the environment, but it is more like passion. Every other encounter I have had with her I have reveled in her enjoyment of life, one of those eating all the marrow people. When she is in town, I jump at a chance to see her, even if it is in a crowded room full of people I don’t know. So I went to the bachelorette party, the meet and greet, and the wedding. This wedding was a fancy deal!
I had been doing well on my diet and the no smoking. I am becoming quite the loyal vapor. So far since my doctor’s appointment up until the Sunday before the wedding I had lost twelve pounds. That is in a month’s time. I was extremely proud of myself, so I wanted to be careful.
I was really good at the bachelorette party. I didn’t eat anything I wasn’t supposed to and had only one martini, the same for the meet and greet. The wedding was another story. I kept saying that this qualifies as a “special occasion.” Basically, I was saying I can do what I want for one night.
Oh, and I did. I really put one on. I will spare you the details but I had sushi, potatoes and something like seven martinis. I even had a little cake and a tiny apple turnover. Regardless of the fact that sort of threw up it all later, when I weighed in Sunday I had gained six pounds. Along with my tremendous hang over, I was really depressed with myself.
Here is the thing– I didn’t even enjoy my drunkenness. I don’t know why but I felt normal up until the seventh martini. I felt absolutely normal, and then I didn’t. So, I don’t think drinking is a good idea because of that. To be honest, I don’t drink that much anymore. So this really isn’t going to be much of a strain. The carbs is my struggle, and I don’t think the cheat was worth it. I had some California rolls, a potato, and a little cake. Was that worth 6 pounds?
I am fully aware that I can have fun without it. I had only one martini at both the bachelorette and the meet and greet and was still the “life of the party.” I danced and I told jokes and I really enjoyed myself. I think I had more fun then, than even at the wedding. So I don’t need to drink or cheat to have fun. Lesson learned.
The adage “being skinny is more fun that the current bite” is annoying, entirely cliché and trite. The saying bugs me, as if you can’t have both. I know skinny people that eat like pigs. I know people who have weight problems who only eat very small amounts of the worst foods imaginable and have been able to lose weight. I can’t do that. I can’t make a donut last all day. I can pick and choose what is worth it.
I am confident now. Like trying a cigarette after a month of not smoking, I have realized it stinks and tastes nasty. Now, that isn’t to say I am not going to eat a chocolate cupcake from Starbucks every once in a GREAT while. I am dreaming about my birthday next month where most likely my aunt will bake me a cake. If you knew my aunt, there isn’t one of you who wouldn’t be dreaming about it. What I am saying is that I understand my will power a little better now. I get that I can pick and choose the days that I will forgive carbs, but those days will be less than they used to be. I guess I am just proud that for the for once in my life, losing the weight is more important.