So Far it’s Working!

One of those meals I would be ashamed to write down.
One of those meals I would be ashamed to write down.

I am very pleased with myself, because I of my new daily goal system. I may not be a morning person. Heck, I may never be a morning person, but I may have figured out a way to get things accomplished anyway. When I am productive in the morning it makes me feel good the rest of the day. Last post I told you that I have started to make lists at night. I write down what meals I am going to make, and what goals I have. The purpose of making the list at night, when I have the most brain power, is so in the morning I don’t have to think about tasks or the order of those tasks. I don’t get overwhelmed anymore by my hazy morning brain. It has been giving me just enough clarity to get me by. So when I finally fully wake up around eleven a.m. I have some tasks already done, which is encouraging.

There has been a really great side effect of writing down all I have to do, and what I have done. I have been journaling how I feel every day because I wanted to know how this was working. It was like a science experiment. I have realized so many things as a result.

The first one is that I realized I have more good days than bad. When I feel bad, groggy, lethargic, it is like thinking through a haze. Lately I have been thinking that my life is filled with those days. Between the fibromyalgia and the soreness from exercising, I thought pain was what my life would be like now.

I had about four days in a row that I felt pretty amazing when I started keeping track. I was feeling energetic and thinking clearly. It was pretty good and I thought it might be because I was really paying attention to my feelings. Also I was eating well, and getting exercise because it was on my list. I was really happy that my list was successful too.

I don’t know why but slicing words in half is so rewarding! Seriously when I cross stuff off my list I get a real high. Does that make me a weirdo? Maybe. However, it is also making me very happy so..

Something else I noticed is how awful I felt when I ate something horrible. I was craving some junk food and when I ate some “not so good for me” Mexican food one night, the next day not only was I bloated, I was lethargic and my body ached. I don’t think I would have even noticed that was the cause had I not been writing down everything I ate and how I felt.  I always understood that fast food could give me indigestion or that extra bloat, but I didn’t realize that because of one bad meal, I slept badly and so the next day I was seriously off my game.

I think that is part of the reason that I am so horrible at losing weight sometimes, because I don’t notice how bad food makes me feel. I don’t know if others are as oblivious as I am, but I think that not only writing down what I eat but how I feel is helping me see what I have been missing for years. I think I am different in that I don’t really notice what food is doing to my body. I am teaching myself to be more in tune with how I feel and what I need to do to fix it.

This is making food choices and exercise easier because I understand the repercussions a little better. I am excited that I am making a little more progress on my road to being healthy. I guess it is super healthy to at least know how I feel.

I am oblivious about how my body feels so often. If I have a goal, I can work through pain and hunger without feeling it. I have eaten crappy food before and I know it must have made me feel sluggish over and over but I didn’t notice it. At least, with my new plan I can get on top of that now.

Not only that, I have been writing myself encouraging things. I know that sounds corny but I am really liking having this way of checking up on myself. It is both an efficient way to keep track of how I am feeling and what affects my feelings, but also a way of encouraging my efforts in all areas. At this point, I have to be excited about anything that is working and providing more stability in my life.

Cheating or not?

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My beautiful famous Aunt making another delicious meal!

 

My birthday was the seventh of November. I have to say I am thankful because I am particularly loved. I get to celebrate my birthday for a full week or sometimes two. Things get pretty mushy around the holidays too so people want to see me and spend time with me. It is a delightful time full of merriment, love and affection. Oh, and also it is a time filled with food and booze.

I have talked before about the definition of a special occasion. I considered it a pass to eat and drink to my heart’s content. My friend’s wedding was a real eye opener. I had sushi, potatoes and martinis. Oh my! I gained FIVE POUNDS! I was not doing that again. So I knew when my birthday came up I would need to choose which things I would deliberately indulge in. It would be difficult but I was not going to gain weight for my birthday, and I am happy to say I did not!

I would like to share what I did so that you can see what I mean, and maybe pick and choose what is important to you to splurge on. Also, I have read that vocabulary is important. We shouldn’t say cheat they say. That makes sense to me because I really do want to do naughty things. If you say to me, “you can’t have that,” I am going to go eat it. That’s me. I am an idiot but it is who I am. I like the idea of deliberately indulging. I am making a conscious choice to eat something that is not normally on my diet.

For instance, Brad and I went to the Ram the night of my birthday. I ordered a burger and half sweet potato fries, and half garlic fries. Now with my low carb diet I just had to remove the buns and I indulged with the garlic fries but only half. Now these choices are going to get harder as I get skinnier because Weight Watchers will make it so I get less points but this meal was under my points for the day.

Later that weekend my Aunt who is a caterer and just an all around perfect chef made us dinner. It was a skillet lasagna, homemade twist bread and a wonderful olive garden type salad. Normal Danielle would have scarfed down three servings of lasagna, ten pieces of bread and two servings of salad. I had one serving of both the salad and the lasagna, but that bread was where my heart was. I hadn’t had bread that wasn’t filled with seeds and flax in over two months. This was homemade twist bread with butter that was made by Amish farmers or something. I am not kidding when I say it was some of the top five breads of my life. I savored that bread like it was the last bread on earth. My uncle brought out this jalapeño jelly that everyone tried but I was like NOPE!  I just wanted to enjoy the uninterrupted masterpiece that was that bread. I will never forget it. I can still taste it. I didn’t drink wine. I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything either because that bread made up for everything. By everything I mean every cheeseburger, French fry, free pizza at work, free cake floated under my nose, or piece of candy lay out on the desk in my office. It made up for every sacrifice I had made. That bread was the perfect reason to indulge. I didn’t let go of my rules for some chintzy cheap wonder type bread. I didn’t compromise my weight loss for something that could be picked up at the corner fast food joint. I ate the Taj Mahal of bread.

This was worth my calories, and believe it or not, that week I hit even and felt pretty good about it. Since then I have lost about eight pounds continuing to use my weird combo of Weight Watchers and low carb. My best friend even made the most delicious meat balls with Dreamfields pasta. I choose to eat that for sure. I still lost three pounds this week. I am so proud because I can make good choices, and good choices most of the week means I can now and then have a little bit of luxury.  It is a dream come true, but people, I am telling you, so was that bread. If I had a life without minor indulgences like that loaf…that is not a life worth living.