We Need A Different Way Of Seeing Things

These two pictures were taken within two weeks of each other, neither photo shopped.  I was the same weight in both.
These two pictures were taken within two weeks of each other, neither photo shopped. I was the same weight in both.

I started this blog because I got tired of hearing how easy losing weight is. I got sick of hearing, “I lost weight like this and you can too!” This is typically accompanied by a picture of the happy smaller person in some sort of tight clothing, next to one when they weighed their worst. The worst picture is always of the person wearing something unfortunate and usually sitting down so their rolls are perfectly blatant or chin down, double chin emphasized. A picture like that could bring one to their senses and start a weight loss journey.

However, what really upsets me is the myth that is perpetrated by the media that weight loss is easy. If I did it this way– you can too. This is not true. In the most basic sense, yes, it is possible to lose weight a myriad of ways. It’s possible, but highly unlikely. It is even more unlikely that I will lose the weight the exact way anyone else has lost it. Everything I do, from waking up in the morning, to talking to my husband is different from anyone else. The most essential and basic relationship is the one with sustenance, and it’s a personal one. Not even my siblings like the same things or eat the same things I do and we are essentially genetically as close to one another as can be. We each have different emotional responses to food, exercise and will power. My own mother approaches food differently than I do, yet, the one stop shop method of weight loss is peddled from every media outlet possible.

One thing sadly missing from most weight loss programs or ideas is the emotional component. It seems blatantly ignored. If you look at other programs for addiction they deal with the emotional component. They ask questions like: How do you deal with stress, how can you get support, why do you use this addiction to cope, and how does your addiction affect the ones you love?

Here is the support food addicts get, jewels like: calories in/ calories out, eat less / exercise more, and nothing tastes better than skinny feels. The simplicity galls me.

What is worse is that over simplification can make failure all the more disappointing. By making weight loss seem easy then it makes it even harder not to internalize self hatred and pain. The fallacy perpetrated by most weight loss companies, that anyone can do their programs, does more harm than good.

For me, I didn’t realize how hard it could be until I had failed many times.  Each time I failed at a diet attempt or exercise venture, I would go into a deep guilt and binge for days. I am sure I am not the only one who didn’t realize that weight loss is a lifelong goal, and a very difficult one. No one admits they were deluded into believing that they could lose weight easily. I would say we are all patsy’s of the weight loss community. If you look at the statistics, you can see two thirds of Americans are overweight, I think that something is wrong with the system. There is a multimillion dollar industry out there, and it isn’t helping as much as we’d think. I believe the problem is the misconception that it is easy.

I want to show that losing weight and getting healthy is not easy. To weight loss professionals and to companies who provide weight loss assistance, I would like to offer this advice: don’t trivialize weight loss. If you want to be helpful, acknowledge the struggle it takes to change an entire lifestyle. Let those people, who do accomplish this great thing for their bodies, be even more proud because society could finally realize the difficulty. Even more, allow people who are having trouble losing weight be kinder to themselves so that it is easier to get back on a healthier path. Studies I’ve read show confidence and self esteem is an important factor in weight loss. It is time that as a society we started to work towards that goal instead of against it.

Many mistakes

 

Hello Blog Followers! I am so sorry it has been almost a week since I posted and that is because I had a really bad week. Wednesday was one of the most rotten days I have had in customer service and I have been doing this almost fifteen years. I was working taking calls, like I do, and every call from nine in the morning to one in the afternoon yelled and argued with me. I am not exaggerating at all. Sometimes you don’t know what comes first, your frustration or their yelling or if it is all a simultaneous poopy experience. Either way I really lost it. There was a time around eleven that I told the person next to me that I just wasn’t going to take anymore calls and I sat there for a full five minutes trying to think I was making some kind of stand. I just sat there in protest for five minutes. I thought I am not taking a call until they come over and make me. I am just going to sit here and zen out. I tried deep breathing. I stretched. I tried thinking about all the wonderful things in my life. I tried to picture all the things I wanted to do with the money I was making. It was fruitless. My blood was still boiling, but I came to my senses and decided to take calls anyways. The last call before my inevitable break down was a man arguing with me over every thing. I mean he didn’t like one thing I said and thought that I was really putting him on. It was a very humbling and aggravating experience. When he finally asked for my supervisor I was so relieved. I then hung up my headset and started bawling. In fifteen years I haven’t ever broken down like that for work but I was really going at it. My supervisor came over and asked if I was okay and told me to step away for a few minutes. So I went to the bathroom and hid in the stall crying and puffing like you do when you are really going at it properly. I was talking to myself saying things like, some people don’t have enough food but I just have people who yell at me. I repeated that over and over and it still didn’t seem to do very good. Luckily when I finally went back I only had about 15 more minutes to be on the phones and then didn’t have to hear anymore yelling.

 

When I got off work I was tired and beat and still upset, and I fell into the car and started bawling. My husband was so sad for me, and held me. We then went and got burgers. Now here was our thinking-Wednesday was my last day of work before vacation and on vacation we couldn’t eat organic all the time so why try and we were now officially on vacation and I had a bad day. Ain’t that bullshit? We really know how to explain our deviance don’t we? We ate Jack in the Box, and I felt awful.

 

The next day I struggled with the answer to the problem. Not only did I fail at keeping my resolution to not eat processed food, and to eat good for my body, but I also broke down. I didn’t find the joy in my day. I didn’t try to keep a smile on. I have been struggling with that since Wednesday to figure out how to not do these things. I didn’t want to write until I had the answer.

 

Unfortunately for some of this there is no answer. My husband and I talked about the cheating and decided that when I have a bad day or him and we haven’t already prepared dinner we will go to a very nice vegetarian cafe we know of that serves the most divine mushroom soup. The other option is going to our neighborhood coop that has a wonderful deli with many organic quick foods, and we will also get the rosemary Ciabatta bread they sell from Zeppoli’s which is always a treat for me. We have to sometimes work around our neuroses, and I think that will work.

 

Now the breaking down. I don’t know if you can live a life without breaking down. I think that I was trying so hard to not be sarcastic and bitter that it built up inside and I exploded. I think you have to have a valve were all the hurt feelings get out. I am not saying you have to wallow in it, but if you aren’t heard by anyone then you start to feel really put upon. I think you need to really get it out, but then once you do, maybe then you can let it go and move onto the joy.

 

Also my husband gave me a really good tip he said that he sometimes pretends that the angry customers are children. He says that is the only way he can have patience enough to understand unreasonable demands. We also talked about how customers that are yelling are only really trying to desperately seek respect and control over their on lives, so if I maintain a cognizance of that then perhaps that will give me the wear with all to handle it. That might work, but I might just go back to my tried and true method of a sarcastic funny remark, but follow it up with the new methods of trying to remember why I am there and finding the joy in my everyday.

 

I am still on vacation, but am trying to eat healthy again. I guess the main thing is not to sulk in your mistake, right. Make a mistake and move on? We have been eating our veggies and trying to get in our servings at the very least. I will keep you updated on how it is going.