We Need A Different Way Of Seeing Things

These two pictures were taken within two weeks of each other, neither photo shopped.  I was the same weight in both.
These two pictures were taken within two weeks of each other, neither photo shopped. I was the same weight in both.

I started this blog because I got tired of hearing how easy losing weight is. I got sick of hearing, “I lost weight like this and you can too!” This is typically accompanied by a picture of the happy smaller person in some sort of tight clothing, next to one when they weighed their worst. The worst picture is always of the person wearing something unfortunate and usually sitting down so their rolls are perfectly blatant or chin down, double chin emphasized. A picture like that could bring one to their senses and start a weight loss journey.

However, what really upsets me is the myth that is perpetrated by the media that weight loss is easy. If I did it this way– you can too. This is not true. In the most basic sense, yes, it is possible to lose weight a myriad of ways. It’s possible, but highly unlikely. It is even more unlikely that I will lose the weight the exact way anyone else has lost it. Everything I do, from waking up in the morning, to talking to my husband is different from anyone else. The most essential and basic relationship is the one with sustenance, and it’s a personal one. Not even my siblings like the same things or eat the same things I do and we are essentially genetically as close to one another as can be. We each have different emotional responses to food, exercise and will power. My own mother approaches food differently than I do, yet, the one stop shop method of weight loss is peddled from every media outlet possible.

One thing sadly missing from most weight loss programs or ideas is the emotional component. It seems blatantly ignored. If you look at other programs for addiction they deal with the emotional component. They ask questions like: How do you deal with stress, how can you get support, why do you use this addiction to cope, and how does your addiction affect the ones you love?

Here is the support food addicts get, jewels like: calories in/ calories out, eat less / exercise more, and nothing tastes better than skinny feels. The simplicity galls me.

What is worse is that over simplification can make failure all the more disappointing. By making weight loss seem easy then it makes it even harder not to internalize self hatred and pain. The fallacy perpetrated by most weight loss companies, that anyone can do their programs, does more harm than good.

For me, I didn’t realize how hard it could be until I had failed many times.  Each time I failed at a diet attempt or exercise venture, I would go into a deep guilt and binge for days. I am sure I am not the only one who didn’t realize that weight loss is a lifelong goal, and a very difficult one. No one admits they were deluded into believing that they could lose weight easily. I would say we are all patsy’s of the weight loss community. If you look at the statistics, you can see two thirds of Americans are overweight, I think that something is wrong with the system. There is a multimillion dollar industry out there, and it isn’t helping as much as we’d think. I believe the problem is the misconception that it is easy.

I want to show that losing weight and getting healthy is not easy. To weight loss professionals and to companies who provide weight loss assistance, I would like to offer this advice: don’t trivialize weight loss. If you want to be helpful, acknowledge the struggle it takes to change an entire lifestyle. Let those people, who do accomplish this great thing for their bodies, be even more proud because society could finally realize the difficulty. Even more, allow people who are having trouble losing weight be kinder to themselves so that it is easier to get back on a healthier path. Studies I’ve read show confidence and self esteem is an important factor in weight loss. It is time that as a society we started to work towards that goal instead of against it.

Tiny Pellets of Death

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Okay, so it has been two weeks of no carb/low carb living… I am trying to get my blood sugars down from 210 sometimes to the necessary 120. This is the goal, this is the normal expected blood sugar. I wasn’t even close starting out. So far, the lowest I have gotten is 133. It will be a slow process from what I understand. Right now I am at defcon one when it comes to sugars. I have to be super strict about it. I want to get off this medicine. I know it won’t happen quickly but I think the feeling of urgency is helping me to stay on point.

Okay first the bad news. This change in our lifestyle is time consuming and frustrating. My husband who does the shopping and the cooking has really been trying but convenience foods have sort of been our go to for a long time, like I am sure a lot of Americans. We have relied on things you can easily microwave or picked up at a window. We sometimes sit paralyzed in the dining room trying to decide what to eat. We stand up together roam through the kitchen pantry and peak in the fridge for like twenty minutes with no ideas. I realize that it seems easy, right? It’s really not. We have to make our brains think differently. I mean I can’t have a package of popcorn. That’s my go to snack. Now, it is like, I will eat this piece of cheese and a small piece off the left over chicken. That’s just an example of something random. Things you would think are awesome are sort of off limits for now, like grapes and peaches. Which is especially heart breaking because I just got my favorite peaches from the farmers market, giant snow peaches from Kelley Orchards. I am just allowed to stare at them…maybe have a couple slices here or there.

I am having weird dreams that husband and I are buying ice cream, gallons of it, and also ice cream sandwiches. It is like God is allowing me to binge in my dreams. Also about three days into this no carb thing, Brad was making tea on the stove and the burnt burner must have had a piece of pasta on it. I was sitting there day dreaming I was eating my favorite pasta ala olio. The long strands of spaghetti sliding around on my tongue. Brad came up behind me to place my tea on the table and I meant to say thank you, but all I could say is, “Pasta.”

Husband is frustrated. It isn’t his fault. He is like me, he isn’t used to it. He sat there after one of our brainstorming sessions and said, “I hate that we have to think about food this much.” It is so true. It feels like we are three and don’t know how to feed ourselves. He feels that he can’t get mad at how hard this is, so he ends up being grouchy at other times. Finally I sat him down and had him get it all out. That took about thirty minutes, and he felt better.

The good thing about my husband is how oddly encouraging he can be. I was at work and they bought the entire center pizza and soda. I texted the husband, “Talk me out of it.” He responded, “It’s triangles of death and heart palpitations in a can.” While I was laughing at this text another came through, “The pizza maker has a nose picking habit and the soda factory lost track of where their rat poison went.” I responded, “LOL.” Then another came through, “Someone stinky licked all the pieces and the soda cans.” Needless to say I didn’t eat any pizza. I felt that much effort for motivation should be rewarded by a positive result. He also called cookies pellets of death.

Supporting each other, listening, and loving each other, that is what is going to get us through.