My inspiration for losing weight-Boots

I am on a quest to lose weight. With any goal I think it helps to realize the benefits that will come about when I accomplish my goal. I know there are regular reasons to lose weight like to get healthy, and look good in clothes but I would like to be more specific. I recently read an article where a woman was describing how she quit drinking, and what was most motivating to her was the way she looked healthy. She didn’t want to be red veined and old looking anymore. I think for me there are so many reasons to lose weight. I am going to create a vision board for you and I to gaze upon. Every week I am going to discuss with you another reason why I want to lose weight. Hopefully being reminded once a week of a reason I want to lose weight will ignite my fervor even more. If you want to get healthy maybe this will remind you too.

Boots I covet around the office!

I don’t covet much. I mean it would be nice to win the lottery, visit Venice and London, or become a published author. However, the true desire of my heart, what I have coveted since my teen years are a pair of kick ass knee high boots. For one, even when I was skinny I didn’t ever think of buying something that cost 100.00 that I would only wear maybe twice a month. Growing up money challenged has made me very frugal with clothes; I usually only spend money on clothing I can wear a lot. Statement pieces like massive boots, neon colors and large jewelry is part of the budget that was always small, if any at all.

The other thing is even as a youth I had massive calves. Even when I was in single digit sizes my calves were unbelievable. I am built like a tree trunk. You know in the movies, when the hero is fighting a whole bunch of guys and he is kicking serious bad guy butt, but then a really huge beefy ugly villain comes over the hill and the hero says, “Oh, SHIT!” That is my calves. I am not being down on myself. They are super muscular. I mean they are beefed up from carrying my big butt around for years. I have some tough calves. Right now they are covered with fat, but under that layer are super muscles. So needless to say, I have never been able to wear those boots.

I see women at work who have black studded knee high leather boots, flat ones and with heels and my heart aches. I long for a pair of boots that I can walk in. I yearn to walk like Sue Ellen on Dallas, the Texas beauty queen walk, in some tall black leather boots. To cross my legs and look at my covered ankles bouncing. I want to make noise as I walk so people look up and take notice of my boots. There is a special allure to a woman in boots. It is an I take shit from no one sort of an allure. I want my feet to say how I feel.

So I am biding my time. It will take a long time before I will be able to wear the boots I want. Even when I was thinner I couldn’t wear them, because of my massive calves of steel. There will be a time when I can though. I will wear them, and when I do…watch out. I will be super full of myself I am sure.

More boots! I want some like these flats. Someday my legs will be this skinny.

The Saturday Ritual

So much CHEESE!!!!

So last Saturday morning I woke at 9:30 and Brad and I had no eggs, milk, cheese, bread…or anything to make breakfast. I had a writing meeting at 11 am. I hadn’t showered and was really tired. Normally I would just run to Jack in the Box or McDonald’s for an egg-y cheesy dough-yness and fake hash browns. I wouldn’t even have to get dressed. I would take my pajama clad fat butt to my little car, throw on some sunglasses, and head the five blocks to a greasy bag of calories. It’s a simple system, a comforting system. Then I wouldn’t have to dirty or clean the kitchen. Then I could laze about in my jammies for another hour maybe watching a rerun of Enterprise. But this is not the way. This isn’t accomplishing my goals and afterwards I would be a bloated sluggish mess for my meeting.

Instead I woke up, showered put on some clean clothes and headed to the store for our organic milk, eggs, and bread. I hate grocery stores. I mean I despise them and would rather clean the bathroom, or mop the floor on my hands and knees than go to the store. I don’t know what it is, maybe the bright lights, the smell, and the noise. So it is a triumph for me that I went. I know it seems like a small thing. I know people go to grocery stores every day. However, in this struggle against myself, or against my auto response, I think I need to recognize when I overcome. I think I need to celebrate the small victories, because I am not usually victorious. If I am fully aware of my choices, and cognizant of my failures then I really need to remember when I made good choices. Hopefully, these small victories will snowball into more and more small things I can do to make myself healthy. In other words, the more credit I give myself for the good choices I make, hopefully the more choices I will make…good.

The best part is when I got home with my spoils; my beautiful wonderful husband made me a delicious breakfast of over easy eggs on toast. It was warm and filling and didn’t make me feel like a beached whale. This could work for me yet.